quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
