its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
