margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
