so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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