He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
