i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
