At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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