Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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