worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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