i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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