how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
