I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
