Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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