she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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