Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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