You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
