Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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