Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize