Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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