I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
