her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.