I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.