My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's always time for handjobs
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Randomize
