I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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