im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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