I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
