I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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