we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
