She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
is it fun? or sober?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
