My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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