Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
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