you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
