it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
