i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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