I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
