But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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