thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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