I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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