this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
