Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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