Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
