you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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