I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
