Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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