I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize