do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
