brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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