Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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