they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
