I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
the raccoons are back...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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