Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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