I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
