turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
