Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
