he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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