This is not my ceiling
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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