just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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