i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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