Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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