She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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