What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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