Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
