oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
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