the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
