woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
